Wednesday 6 August 2014

Holidays

Success Criteria


DEEP FEATURES
Brainstorms to identify main ideas to be used in writing.
Uses most of the main ideas in the writing.
Uses paragraphs and sequences ideas.
Attempts to end writing with a simple conclusions.
SURFACE FEATURES
Spells most words correctly.
Uses capital letters, full stops, commas, apostrophes, question marks, exclamation marks.
THE REWORKER / EDITOR
Rereads writing to edit out information that does not improve the message.
Rereads writing to edit in words and phrases that improve the message.
Uses a dictionary to identify and check spelling attempts.
Checks writing for basic punctuation.


It was the last day of the holidays and I was thinking of all the fun stuff I did in the holidays
and this is what I did….



It was Monday, the first day of the holidays and I was going to my Nana's house. She lived by the mountains. When I got there she said she had surprise for me and my brother. When mum left, and we said goodbye next Nana pulled two presents from behind her back. Then she said “Go ahead open them.” I got a Rapunzel Lego set. William got a toy from the new transformers movie. Me and William played with our new toys. I spent the whole afternoon  building my lego set. When I finished I called Nana and she said “Are you finished?” and I said “Yes!”  


It was the second Tuesday of the holidays and I was going to go for a  bush walk with my friend Ruby. We walked down the trail and Ruby walked with me. We found a waterfall at the corner of the trail. After that we went up a path that lead to the beginning of the trail. We walked up the stairs like we started, and then we went on bus and went home.

Now its Sunday the last day of the holidays tomorrow its school.

1 comment:


  1. Dear Nicole
    I like how you put a simple conclusions at the end.
    I like how you used paragraphs.
    I wish next time you would tall me how old Ruby is.
    Was the waterfall big?

    ReplyDelete